Boys to Men

We have an epidemic in this country. Some would say we have many. Perhaps that’s true. But they all seem to funnel down to this one thing…And that is the loss of authentic masculinity. And that started with the attack on masculinity. 

Let’s go back to the 1960s. 

We had two big things working in the US at that time. One was the rise of what was termed the “sexual revolution”. That could be more aptly explained as free sex without consequence. Along with that came the beginning of systematic attacks on masculinity. And, the trifecta, the erosion of the family. 

My generation (Gen-X) was the first to experience a large percentage of moms working outside the home and a large percentage of dads out of the home. Divorce was rampant…and for any reason. Psychologists often told parents that kids would be fine if mom and dad split. One told my parents that. They split. We weren’t fine. 

During my childhood and teen years we also began to see masculinity attached in the media. The dad in many shows became a bumbling idiot and the punch line of most jokes. The mom was the one who had it all together. And the kids were always smarter, wittier and more capable. 

Other societal institutions began to attack men too. Coming up, boys were told to be nice. We were told to “not play like that”. We were told to be “good boys”…whatever that actually means. Schools got in on the act too. Shop and industrial arts classes were phased out over several decades in many places. Boys, who are active by nature, were forced to sit and listen to a teacher for hours a day. 

Starting in the 1990s we started to see psychoactive drugs come on the market frequently. Many were given to children. Drugs for ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc. In many cases, these drugs combatted natural proclivities in boys. Didn’t matter. In a world where teachers were becoming outnumbered in the classroom and families lacked both parents, something had to be done.

We also have watched a rise in violent video games…the graphics of which are almost movie-like now. In these games your ranking is determined by the number of kills. Now these games are becoming available on VR systems, making them more immersive and more psychologically dangerous. 

And we have the availability of porn. Since the internet started gaining popularity porn has become accessible anywhere and at any time. It teaches wrong views of sexuality and a really skewed view of how healthy intimacy works. And it’s everywhere. 

The average boy in the country is exposed to porn at 11 years old. 

Today we have a large percentage of boys who either have no father in the home or have an emasculated father in the home. They watch porn early and play violent death games often. They are jacked up on dangerous drugs and fed processed crap. And they spend the majority of their day in a school designed for the way girls learn and taught (especially in grade school) largely by women. 

When they do participate in sports they learn nothing of winning and losing…which are valuable life lessons. Instead they learn that everyone gets a trophy and that extra effort means nothing because we’re all the same. 

And when they do watch movies and TV (unless it’s a superhero CGI flick) they see adult men as worthless and pointless. And, again, many don’t have a dad or even a grandpa close by to help them counterbalance all of this. There’s largely no dad to show them the way or to help them find the path. And no dad to help them navigate internal and external responses to all the above. 

Politicians claim they can fix problems of violent crime with more laws. They can’t. In fact, they can’t fix anything. They can’t fix the drug problem, the fatherlessness problem, the violence problem, the gang problem or the rediculously high rate of suicide in boys and young men. But we can. 

The question is, are you ready to do the hard work?